I, as was many others, devastated to learn of the death of Alan Rickman. When I got told about his passing, I was in class, and I was genuinely speechless, which believe me, doesn't happen very often. I kept thinking about that photo about how, at eighty years of age, he'd finally read the Harry Potter novels, but he never got to do it. Alan Rickman was immortal in everyone's minds, his death never even seemed physically possible, so the actual accuracy of this event shook the world.
But you want to know what scared me the most? My childhood is dying. I'm a teenager, and some of the most influential figures who actually helped me start to become who I want to be are dying already. My biggest fear is being alone; I'm not afraid of death at all, really, I would is much rather die tomorrow than watch the people I love leave me, and no, I don't have suicidal thoughts, but if it came down to it, I'd rather die than them. In some ways, it's selfish, and in some ways, it's courageous. Guess that explains why I'm Gryffindor quite ironically, though precisely. Nevertheless, one of the celebrities I looked up to from such a young age has died, they're all leaving us behind, and that's the scariest part of all of this. Not only are our childhood dreams and favourites leaving us figuratively as we grow up and leave them in exactly that, our childhood, but they're actually leaving us behind. And that actually scares me. But having Alan go first (besides the first Dumbledore) is what makes it a whole lot worse. He was invincible, he was Snape, he was Judge Turpin, he was Absolum, his character always died, but he was there, as a constant. And now he's not. All these constants and regularities we relied on earlier on in our life are literally leaving us.
Welcome to My Paper Life.
